Anchoring Favorable States In Others

Now that you have learned how to anchor positive states of mind and defuse
negative states in yourself, why not apply these techniques to other people as well?
Just imagine being able to suffuse your friends, relatives and co-workers with
enthusiasm, confidence and joy, and now you'll learn just how to do that.
Anchoring is particularly effective when you don't realize it's happening to you.
TV advertisers and salespeople create and play upon your states all the time to
establish your likes and dislikes over their products. Comedians create anchors to the
states of humor and laughter in their audiences. Johnny Carson, on the old Tonight
Show, had the whole country anchored with the unique, sideways glance he uses at
the point he wants you to laugh. Hitler put people into intense states with the anchors
of an outstretched stiff arm and the shout of "Sieg Heil" that was reinforced over and
over.
In establishing anchors in other people, you can either recognize an intense state
that the person is already exhibiting and anchor it, or you can create the state you
want the person to express and anchor it. For instance, suppose you were at a horse
race and your friend's horse just won at 20 to 1. At the very height of his jubilation
and glee, you clasp and shake his hand in both your hands in congratulation. If his
state was intense enough, you might be able to see him experience that same
jubilation again the next day by repeating the identical hand shake and clasping with
both your hands again in exactly the same manner. It might be a good way to pull
him out of the doldrums if he ever has a bad day in the future. A more formal way of
course is to have him inwardly relive an experience in his past and step into it again.
At the peak of his reexperiencing it, you apply a unique stimulus and anchor it.
Now work with a partner and anchor each other with the feeling of contentment,
happiness and complete satisfaction as a combined state. Read to your partner the
following (his eyes can be open or closed, whichever is easier):
Now search your memory for a time when you experienced complete satisfaction,
happiness and contentment over something that happened in your life. (Pause) If
you can't think of anything off hand, imagine how it would feel if such an experience
did happen to you. (Pause) Say, "Yes," softly to me when you are at the peak of
this experience while you simultaneously squeeze your left fist in a unique way.
(Wait for your partner to say, "Yes," then lightly and immediately place your hand on
the back of his right hand as a momentary touch.) Now breathe with satisfying,
contented breaths while you continue to experience this feeling. (Pause) Now squeeze your left fist in the same way again. As he does this, touch his hand again in the same
way as you did before.) Now tell me how satisfied and contented you feel, and then
squeeze your left fist again. (Pause and allow him to do so, then touch him again in
exactly the same way with your hand as he squeezes his left fist.) Say to your
partner, "You know how to be satisfied and content." Now squeeze your left fist
again please. (Then lightly touch his right hand again with yours in the same way
you did before as he squeezes his left fist again.) Now reverse the roles and let your
partner do the same for you.
Many times loved ones engender ill will and negative feelings toward one another
by experiencing negative emotional events together and anchoring them through
touch, words or just the sight of each other at the peak of the negative feeling. Later
when the anchor is replayed, the negative feeling is also replayed, and often it is
assumed it is the fault of your loved one. Just as you can defuse these anchors when
you recognize them, you can just as easily provide positive anchors with your loved
ones at the pinnacle of powerful positive states that you experience together. Thus,
when you choose to anchor the positive states of enjoyment, exhilaration, confidence,
satisfaction and enthusiasm with your loved ones, you build and intensify your
mutual pleasure and bring about a more constructive relationship.