With many people, there is a distinct need to feel important. Without this feeling
fulfilled, a person often suffers from self-doubt, guilt, insecurity and low self-worth.
Those same people will go to great lengths to maintain a good reputation, or to
demonstrate that they are needed, or to gain a bit of self-esteem, or to prove their
superiority, or to show that they're right, or even to meet a challenge presented to
them. If you diplomatically satisfy these areas to such ego-oriented people, you
become master over any situation with them. Their emotional mind loves it, and their
logical mind is suspended.
As a daily exercise, exhibit a little thought when you handle your next people
situation, and see how well it works.
To a boss that normally reprimands you:
"If it wasn't for your astute judgment, the efficiency of the company certainly
wouldn't be as high. It sure is fortunate that you keep everyone on their toes."
To a lover or spouse going through a bout of negativity:
"You're the best example I know of someone doing the best he can in any
situation. Therefore I know that whatever decision you make, it'll be a good one."
As a further exercise, work with a friend and alternate with each other on skillful,
ego-boosting remarks based on the principles outlined above. In actual situations,
they will work wonderfully, and they will seem a lot less artificial. You'll be
delighted and surprised.