Dealing With A Liar

In "Exercise -- Honesty For Better Clarity," you learned how to correct your
exaggerating and lying tendencies. After correcting your own dishonest tendencies,
you probably noticed that you are more prone to believing and trusting others now
than you were before. Formerly, you doubted everything that you heard, because
you yourself could not be relied upon for factual information. It was a natural
assumption that other people were the same. Now that you have become honest, you
assume others are likewise. When you discover they are not, you have to deal with
To spot a liar, body language is the key -- red spots on the cheeks, fidgeting
posture, clenching of fists, vocal stress or quivering voice, nervous laughter, a
tapping foot, an exaggerated effort to appear casual, etc. all can depict dishonesty.
Also, adding too much to a story or taking charge of a conversation to distract or
divert you can be telltale signs of lying. Mostly though, the eyes are the windows to
the mind, the character, the habits and the soul of a person. Beware of excessive
shifting or downcast eyes or eyes that you intuit to be untrustworthy, cruel, crafty,
sarcastic, revengeful or hateful when you fully look into them. If you've learned to
see auras, you'll notice a greenish-yellow streak shoot through a person's aura when
he tells a lie (review "Exercise -- Aura Seeing").
The need to be right and not take the responsibility to be wrong is so strong in
some people that they will even invent whole conversations that never took place just
to say, "I told you so." Liars have many subconscious reasons for lying, and some
liars no longer can tell the difference between truth and lie. Normally when a liar is
exposed, he still maintains his lie in a struggle not to have it openly revealed.
As an exercise, the next time you catch someone lying, blame the cause of the
episode on a nameless third party. This has a marvelous effect of allowing the liar to
save face, and for you to achieve what you want without too much anxiety. Your son
denies leaving his bike in the driveway, but he'll put it away without a fuss if you say
it must have been one of the neighbor's kids. The mechanic didn't replace the spark
plugs he charged you for, so blaming the mistake on his 'anonymous' helper will get
them replaced properly without any trouble. The liar suspects that you know he lied,
and calling him a liar would not get what you want done. People have to correct their
own lying tendencies. This exercise simply allows you a technique of dealing with
such people.
Psychologically speaking, if your first impression with a person revolves around
something he thinks you are wrong about or lied about, it causes any further
statements from you to be regarded with suspicion. First impressions of being a truth
teller have the same effect. Whenever a person makes up his mind about you as a
truth teller or a liar in the beginning, he is loath to change his mind afterwards,
because it would mean he was wrong about you. People rarely like to admit they are
wrong in such matters. This is also at the root of most difficulties in interpersonal
People tend to put out good impressions in the beginning of a relationship, even if
it is a false one. Partners that swallow a false impression are very reluctant to change
their minds afterwards, and they will tend to defend their position tenaciously. It
simply is too tough an admission for most people to admit they were wrong.
Consequently, whenever you meet someone for the first time, always maintain
honesty and seek some common boundary of accord that you both can agree upon.
After the person has made up his (her) mind about you as a factual truth teller, all
your future statements will be accepted with that same faith. This can often be used
constructively in giving lectures on controversial subjects.