In one university study, it was discovered that people in a negative mood were
more likely to believe negative things stated to them about themselves. Conversely,
people in a positive mood were more prone to accept positive feedback. Since most
people are exposed to more negativity during the course of a day than positivity, is
there any wonder that people suffer from depression and low self-esteem at the end of
a normal day? Negativity affects your physical and psychological well being, and
some people get boils, colds or headaches after a serious burst of anger or hatred
toward someone. Rage can even trigger a heart attack. When you look for a
person’s flaws and point them out to others, this critical tendency creates distance
between you and others, and makes you feel bad in the process! As an exercise,
reverse this tendency of looking for flaws, and look for a person’s good points. Be
generous with your compliments and praise toward others, and you'll notice a more
favorable response from people.
You must realize that your words command great power over people and yourself,
and the brain manufactures all sorts of chemicals in response to your words. Mark
Twain once said that he could live for 2 months on a good compliment. As a daily
exercise in your home and workplace, begin and finalize each day with 5 positive
statements toward someone. If you’re normally critical toward people, replace the
criticisms with compliments. When you direct positivisms toward others, you not
only change their mood to a positive one, but you also enjoy a positive effect for
yourself as well.
For a positive experience one evening, let a group of 5 to 8 friends do the
following exercise: Have one person sit in the middle of the others encircled around
him. Have a prearranged sheet typed up for distribution to everyone containing about
15 to 20 positive statements. From there you can improvise from the sheet to make
up your own positive statements to say. Then each person in the circle takes a turn to
direct a positive statement to the person in the center. After 10 minutes have elapsed
and all people have had several turns and dozens of positive statements have been
received by the person in the center, the next person takes his turn in the center of the
circle and the center person moves to the circle area. Do this until everyone has had a
turn in the center.
With all the negative hits you normally take all day, this exercise will definitely
give you a positive high. It also will give you more practice in issuing positive
statements to other people. Words have powerful affects on people, whether you mean them or not. (Caution -- The purity of the experience must not allow any nega-
tive snickers, jokes, or comments during the exercise or the effect will be seriously
Below are some sample positive statements you might begin with. If you create a
handout with these or similar statements for participants, you can create a steady flow
of statements without interruption as you go around the circle.
Here are the samples:
1) You look very healthy.
2) You are a sensitive and caring person.
3) I like you.
4) Your personality is bright and cheerful.
5) You have a very presentable appearance.
6) You have a captivating charisma.
7) You have a fantastic mind.
8) You’re a very attractive person.
9) You are a beautiful person inside and out.
10) You are pleasant and enjoyable to associate with.
11) You are a warm and good natured person.
12) You have many interesting ideas.
13) I like your dynamic wit and refreshing good humor.
14) You are an intriguing and well-balanced individual.
15) You have accumulated a lot of interesting knowledge and experience.
16) You are a stimulating and exciting conversationalist.
17) I feel good around you.
If you practice this exercise at least once per week for 2 months, all participants
should have a marked improvement in their attitude. During the normal course of a
day, you might also practice getting into the habit of delivering at least one positive
statement to someone each hour. Find something about the way they're dressed,
their hair, face, body, personality or manner, and positively remark to them about it.
The key to this exercise is daily practice.